Cultivating self love is an on going practice, and often times a very difficult one. This can be a tough task. If we have some deep wounds it is not always easy believing we are worthy of love. If we don’t think we are worthy of love then it is obvious that we do not have love for ourselves. When we do love ourselves we will know we are worthy of it. That feeling is contagious and it spreads to others and we receive love in return.
Healing is not linear. Sometimes it can feel as if we are going backwards. We may lose track and get down in the dumps about something. And the more we focus on something negative the deeper we dive into that downward spiral. Until we remember our work… the inner work we are doing for ourselves. As long as you remember to come back and love yourself you can pull yourself back up and will be stronger.
It’s okay to have bad days and walk in our shadows every once in awhile. If it were not for the icky times and feelings we wouldn’t know what we do want. Those bad or dark times in our life show us what we do not want, so that we know what we DO want in our lives. We might hurt and be in pain, but that is the perfect time to dig in and feel and heal.
Self Love takes consistency
Self love is a constant on going practice. It will take more than a salt bath and a few affirmations, although those do help!
We can not just do a few self love acts and suddenly just fall in love with ourselves. And we can not just affirm that we love our self and then it will just be. We have to feel and believe we are worthy of love and accept ourselves fully; the good and the bad in order to love ourselves.
This is a practice you need to keep coming back to. I’ve created a list of self love acts that have helped me along the way. I hope they inspire you to do some self love work too!
ways to practice self love
- Listening to music: I like to listen to music that makes me want to dance or empowers me. I will include my favorite self love playlist soon!
- Reminding myself I am worthy of love. I don’t need to earn it. Receiving & giving love is a natural part of the human experience.
- Dancing: Get that body moving & pumping oxygen. You will feel good!
- Mirror talk: This is pretty much you looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself you love you. Seems silly, but it works.
- Setting Boundaries: Some people were never taught to set healthy boundaries. Doing so can be empowering especially when you keep them and follow through. This isn’t an easy task.
- Dressing good to feel good about ourselves. When we feel like we look good it boosts our confidence, so why wouldn’t you?
- Creating routines: This is so important. It is time for yourself. I have a daily morning routine I do every morning. I will share with you later.
- Accepting yourself as a whole. The good things about you and also the dark parts that maybe you don’t like so much. Once that you accept that that is who you are you can let go of any insecurities and love yourself more fully.
- SMELLS: wearing your favorite scent or burning incense and candles always makes me feel like I am treating myself. I feel good when wearing my favorite perfume.
- Journal: If I did not journal I think I would go crazy. This is a great way to work through difficult times, get things off your chest and write down anything that’s on your mind. There are a lot of self love journal prompts you can find on Pinterest.
- Crafting & Creating: Make art. We are woman we are creators of things. Beautiful things. Anything!
- Expressing myself: This feels so broad, but that’s because it is. I express myself in the clothes I wear, the music I blare from my car radio. The way I communicate with people and I do it fully and honestly and authentically.
- Read: There are sooooo many books that are excellent resources for creating self love. I will have a post on that book list for me soon!
- Getting Emotions Out. There are different ways to do this, but when you have a feeling or emotion come up just pause and ask yourself what feeling are you having? Where do you feel it in your body. Do you feel like you need to do something to release it? Cry? Scream in a pillow? Punch a pillow? Go for a run?
- De-Clutter: You would be surprised at how great this makes you feel.
- Helping Others: When ever you see someone in need of help, help them. You will feel good about yourself. And this is something I personally do, but no shame if you don’t… I don’t tell anyone ever when I help someone. I don’t want it to seem like I am doing something for someone else in order to gain appreciation or high fives. It feels better when its just because.
- Study the Law of Attraction
- Detox behaviors and habits that no longer serve you. (Smoking, gossiping, excessive shopping, addictions)
- Practice mindfulness through out the day. In one of the law of attraction books they call this segment intending. Before you move on to a new task or go somewhere new for the day you think how you want it to go and stay in the moment. What do you want to see how do you want to converse with people. What do you hear? Are you getting ready to go for a drive? Okay how do you want to feel on that drive? Safe, peaceful, content even if there is traffic.
- When I wake up in the morning right before I roll out of bed I always say to myself “Today is going to be a GREAT day!” And then it usually is.
- Inner child work: I will write a post about this more in depth. Its when we are feeling sad and triggered about something talking to our inner child about the situation as if we were their loving adult parent. We are re-parenting our self in this way.
- Shadow Work: This is when we journal and dig deep why we feel a certain way about situations and the patterns we have created in life. It has a lot to do with our earlier childhood relationships. Can be very hard but deeply healing and rewarding.
- Making a list of our role models or people who inspire us and then writing down what we love and admire in each of them that we would like to cultivate in ourselves.
- List about what you love about yourself.
- Write down what you want in life. Every aspect of it. What kind of relationships do you want. What kind of house do you want to live in.What kind of person do you want to be? This will make you feel good as a form of visualization. If we do it enough and feel good while we are doing it we can manifest i
That’s my list. I really hope this helps someone out there. I feel like I’ve constantly searched for a “How to Love Myself” post and never really found what I was looking for. So I created it. Can you guys add anything to the list? What do you do for self love? Comment in the section below!
