Labor as a First Time Mom

It had been two weeks that I had been having random contractions, so I didn’t think much of the tiny pain that woke me up that morning. The room was still dark. I glanced at my watch to see that it was 5:30 a.m. and tried going back to sleep, but then there it was again that little pain. My watch read 5:37.

I remembered my manager at the yoga studio had told me how she woke up with contractions, each one seven minutes apart “on the dot.”

“Oh my god. Is it happening? Am I ready? I’m just going to lay here longer.”

Next contraction comes 8 minutes later. “What?” I thought contractions were suppose to get closer not farther apart. The following contraction comes 5 minutes later. “Maybe these are Braxton Hicks.” I thought to myself.

Not wanting to wake my partner yet, (knowing he would start freaking out) I decided to wait it out for a little while. I wanted to make sure it was for real. Well, they kept coming but they were 7 minutes apart and then 5 minutes and then 7 again. I rubbed his back and he flipped over.

“Let me sleep for another hour. I have to go into work early today,” he said. 

“Well, I’ve been having contractions for the past hour and a half, soooo…” 

I have never seen him get out of bed faster. He didn’t even speak. He just flipped the light on, looked at his phone and left the room. “Where the F*ck is he going?” I thought. Then I heard the shower turn on and shuffling of his feet all around the house.

I started texting my mom to tell her what was happening. She thought I was having Braxton Hicks as well, but warned me not to send Dave off to work quite yet. I laid in bed awhile longer. The shower was still running with no body in it.

I rolled out of bed and thought I’d better eat something, so I made a smoothie. Dave had finally gotten in the shower and I realized he had been cleaning the house; taking the trash out, emptying the litter boxes and throwing shit into a pile on the living room floor that I later learned we were taking to the hospital. (pillows, blankets, coats, hats, a cooler with random stuff he grabbed out of the fridge)

I decided I wanted to look pretty if I was having this baby, so I sat down to put on my makeup. This I later learned was pointless because I sweated it all off. My contractions were getting a little stronger and were now about 3.5 minutes apart. I called my midwife and she told me to wait until I can’t speak during the contractions and had to breathe through them. We lived about a half hour away from the hospital, so we didn’t want to leave only to be told to turn around and wait at home.

My back was starting to hurt so I decided to take a bath. Since SOMEONE decided to let the shower run for 30 minutes before they got in, there was no hot water. I was sitting in a cold tub of water. So much for that plan.

We decided to head in to my midwives office so that they could check me and see how far along I was. They hooked me up and saw that my contractions were 3 minutes apart. I say they because it was my midwife and the midwife intern. I was really hoping that the intern wouldn’t be there that day, knowing they would let her do everything for practice, but there she was! Two weeks prior the intern did a cervical check on me and couldn’t find my cervix, so when she checked me this time and told me I was only 50% effaced and 3 cm dilated I didn’t believe she was doing it right.

They told me to go home or go walk around for a few hours. No way were we driving all the way back home. I knew this baby was coming sooner then they thought. We walked back to the parking garage and I put the seat all the way back and turned on my side. Dave rubbed my back during every contraction for an hour as I labored in the car.

The contractions were getting unbearable so we decided to go into labor and delivery. We left all the bags in the car fearing that they would turn us down again. It was 2 p.m. when I got into my room. The nurse hooked me up to the monitor and checked me once again. I was 7cm dilated and my contractions were every 2 minutes and were 3 minutes long.

“Okay, we are going to get someone in here to hook up your I.V.” the nurse said. 

“I don’t want an I.V.”

“You have to have an I.V. It’s hospital policy.”

“Mary told me I didn’t have to have one.”

“Mary Witterson?” the nurse asked.

I didn’t really know who that was. I assumed it was my other midwifes last name, so I gave a firm YES to her question, maybe she would believe me.

“Okay well I am going to go call Lauren (the midwife on call that day) and see what she says about that.”

The nurse left the room and I prayed that Lauren would agree with me since I was having an unmedicated birth. Plus I hate needles.

My doula who is also one of my best friends arrives at this time, and the nurse comes back in and says Lauren agreed with me on not needing an I.V. but I still had to get poked to get my blood drawn. Fine okay. She leaves the room and I’m still hooked up to the monitors measuring the contractions.

“I’m uncomfortable. I’m taking these off and getting in the bath tub!”

I could feel my doula; Karlie, and Dave giving each other an uneasy look. I unstrap my self from the table and start taking my gown off. Karlie left the room to ask a nurse if thats okay. I stand naked in the bathroom waiting for the answer trying to figure out the knobs on the tub. Karlie returns and tells me I can get in.

My contractions are getting way intense now and I realize my labor bag is still in the car with everything I prepared for this moment. My birth plan, my music, snacks, and candles. I thought fuck it. There is no way Dave is leaving my side now. I’ve already been vocal about not having an I.V. and wanting an unmedicated birth. I’m going to have to go with the flow now.

Someone knocks on the door, and I hear a mans voice. He is here to draw my blood. Another part of my birth plan no one knows about. I did not want any males in the room besides my partner. I tell Dave I don’t want any men in here and he tells him I prefer a female nurse. The man leaves and I feel relief. That was easy.

A new nurse returns soon to draw my blood, and she says I can stay in the tub. I’m sitting on my hands and knees in this tiny ass tub, and I feel another contraction. She patiently waits till it’s passed to draw my blood. At this point I’m screaming and grunting through my contractions. My baby was getting lower and lower and I was getting the urge to push.

My midwife and her intern show up now telling me I’m still only 7 cm and not ready to push. The intern explains the benefits of breaking my water to speed things up as I go through another contraction, but the contractions WILL be more intense. “Nope.” I say.

More intense? They are going to get MORE INTENSE? I can’t do this any more.

I remembered one of Daves friends had told me just when you think you can’t go any longer and want the meds, thats when your baby is about to come, so stick it out.

About 20 minutes after my midwives left there was a loud pop. My water had broke, and a nurse said it looked like meconium had come out. She checked me and indeed it was mec. She called the midwives in and a specialist since there was meconium in utero. They checked me again and told me I could start pushing. I was so relieved.

“Okay, I’m going to do it right here.”

“Unfortunately its against hospital policy to birth in the tub. You are going to have to get out.”

“Can I just get out and lean over the tub?”

This bathroom is tiny, and I was oblivious to what was going on around me. Between my two midwives, the specialist, I believe two or three nurses and my doula and partner, I don’t think we were all fitting in here.

Dave spoke to me in a tone of voice that meant business, he was serious and I needed to listen to him.

“Nichole, get. out. of. the. tub.”

I get up and walk out into the main room. You know in the Transformer movies when the robots turn into cars and trucks? That’s what had happened to my hospital bed. Except it wasn’t a car obviously. The bed was now standing up with three different levels so that I was able to still be on my hands and knees.

Now crouching over, hugging pillows through the pain, the intern midwife is applying heat to my back and pressure on the sides of my hips through the contractions. She gave me reassurance and talked me through it. I love her after all.

Next contraction she tells me to push through the contraction like I’m pooping. I could feel my baby’s head. That contraction ends.

“Okay Nichole, on the next contraction you are going to do the same thing but arch your back up like a cat instead of down. Keep pushing through the whole contraction.” the intern says. 

My next one comes and I do what she says. I feel my babys head come out. The contraction ends and she says I can keep pushing, I no longer need the contractions. Out pass the shoulders and my baby slides out. Sweet relief.

She passes my baby to me under and through my legs. His cord is short so I have to be careful as I turn over to my back. He’s so perfect.

My baby boy was born at 4:49 pm. So after 2 and a half hours of laboring at the hospital and two contractions worth of pushing my baby was in my arms.

I believe my labor and delivery was fast because I mentally prepared myself in advance and chose to have an unmedicated birth. I let nature take it’s course and trusted my instincts. And although I didn’t have my labor bag or my music, I realized in the end I didn’t want music and was proud I used my voice to express my birth plans instead of handing over a piece of paper I typed up with my wishes.

There was one thing on my birth plan that I did not follow through with, and glad I didn’t. Because I was a first time mom, I just put everything on the plan that I thought was right for me. I specifically said, “please do not tell me when to push. I will know when my baby is ready to come.” I was really relieved they told me when and how to push actually. A lot of books on natural birth tell you to breathe baby down and you can tell when to push, but I didn’t know to arch my back that way while I pushed or that I could keep pushing after the contraction. Maybe next time I will include that since I now know what it’s like, but for now I am so satisfied with the way my birth went.

All my life I have found it difficult to take compliments. It’s hard to just say thank you. Maybe I think little of myself or like I don’t deserve it. After my baby arrived the midwives and nurses just kept telling me good job, you were so awesome. And in that moment I fucking owned it. I said thank you and smiled. Something amazing DID just happen, and I AM awesome.Would I do it again? HELL Yes. It was so worth it in the end.

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