Have you been using the law of attraction to manifest all your wants and desires, see them blossoming and unfolding, but still don’t have the relationship you long for? Maybe you’ve been dumped when you thought everything was going so well, or you keep attracting the wrong type of person.
I think there is more to it than just thinking and being positive until the right person appears. Especially since relationships are a little more complex. We form stories around our relationships and when we have some, or a lot of baggage from the past that hasn’t been healed yet or investigated we won’t be able to manifest the conscious relationship that we desire.
You can see the law of attraction working here in different perspectives. For one a relationship could have ended because YES you are manifesting the relationship you want, just not with the person you thought. You vibrated out of alignment with them because you want different things. THAT IS OKAY! You are getting closer to what you really want.
The second part of this is well, now you are hurting because your heart has been broken. This is also the law of attraction showing you what you have to work through and heal in order to get to that next level of relationship that you want. You can not expect to get a new different type of relationship while remaining to stay the same. Your break up has caused deep wounds to open from the past. Let me remind you that you asked for this. I know you didn’t ask to be hurt and sad and heartbroken, but you asked for that relationship you wanted and in order to get it you have to do some dirty work first.
The Law of Attraction is attuned to our thoughts whether they are positive or negative you’re attracting it. There could be and most likely is some subconscious layers that repetitively attract these unwanted relationships and people, and until you start peeling that onion you will continue to manifest them.
yes positivity is great, but we have to do the dirty work as well
Start digging into what is happening and why. Figure out what you need to do to comfort and heal the wound. Go to your dark places that cause all the big emotions. And then really listen and feel through them.
Take your time in this space and reflect. Don’t stay there forever and sulk. It isn’t going to be easy, but it will get easier little by little when you start to realize and see all the patterns. Once you see, then you can use the power of positivity to direct your thoughts in the direction of what you want. Now you know where the unwanted relationships stem from and will also see the positivity in the lessons you learned from all of them.
I'll give you an example...
Perhaps you went through a break up…again. And you ignored how it made you feel. You numb the pain and start thinking positive until the next relationship comes along. You fall in love all over again and then once again the break up happens.
Now you want to do the work so the cycle is broken. You start digging into the not so good feelings. You see the patterns within all of these relationships. Maybe all the men you date are emotionally unavailable, they are avoidant or don’t have the time to make you a priority and commit. And you think back to your relationship with your father and realize that he was never there for you. He was a workaholic always leaving for business trips, or he abandoned your family, or he was a drunk so he was never really there.
Most of our patterns in our relationships date back to our childhood. You wanted so badly to get and receive love from your father. You wanted to prove that you were worthy of his love, but he wasn’t emotionally mature enough. So a core wound was inflicted on you. Your relationships reflect this absent father by the choice of these men who can not be there for you just as your father couldn’t. You think that this will be the chance you can make them love you this time. Subconsciously you are trying to heal that wound with your father over and over. You want to be loved and prove you are lovable. But you can not fix it that way. You can’t look for that love externally, you have to love yourself first. (See my article on the abandonment for more information on this topic.)
Now you can start doing the work to heal. You know you no longer want relationships like this and choose to have a healthy conscious relationship. Your wounds have been uncovered. No more bandaging them up its time for them to heal.
YOu know what you do not want so now you know what you do want
Since you know what you do not want in a relationship now that you can see the patterns of the past. You now know what you do want and can think about the positivity and happiness you feel surrounding this new type of relationship. It can now manifest in your life.
There will be times that you will be tested. And it’s usually right after you think you are on your feet again. Those wounds were traumatic and do not just disappear they will come up again, but you will know how to handle them this time. The same types of relationships could show up again, but you will recognize the red flags this time and move on instead of staying around with someone you know is no good for you. I recommend learning how to love yourself first and filling yourself up before jumping into another relationship. Do the things you want and find your authentic self first. A conscious relationship consists of two separate people coming together to be committed in partnership to create life together as whole, separate people.
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